If I should be sick, please be extra special kind and loving to me.  I can’t take care of myself yet, and everything you do for me to help me feel better will only help me see myself as a loving and worthwhile person and I need you so much.

I need you especially during the night because that’s when it’s the worst.  Most of the time I’ll only have a cold, but you know how it feels when you wake up with a stuffy nose or a runny nose.  You can’t wait to blow it.  And you certainly can’t go back to sleep without taking care of it.

I’m the same way, but it’s worse because I can’t tell you what’s wrong.  Please call my doctor to see what is best to do.

It might be helpful if before I go to bed, you:
 

1) Raise one end of my mattress, so my head can be elevated.
  (Remember - no pillows, I could smother.)
2) Turn on a cold or warm humidifier in my room for moisture.
  (Ask my doctor what’s best for me.)
3) Give me a cold washcloth to chew on (if I’m teething); or maybe even
some Tylenol.  It can be very painful for me when I’m teething, since the roots of my teeth are at the base of my sinuses.

Next, either a cool or warm mist humidifier generally works the best in getting me the moisture I need.  If you don’t have one, though, at least crack a window for me, so the moist air can come in.  If it’s a hot, humid night, though, please run a fan or an air conditioner for me.

Lastly, if my doctor says it’s ok to give me some Tylenol, please leave it close to my bed.  If I wake up in the middle of the night you can give me some quickly; and you won’t have to go looking for it, turning on bright lights, and waking me up more than I already am.
Remember, you want to go back to sleep as much as I do.

PLEASE REMEMBER...

If I should cry out, come to me as fast as you can, and talk gently and sweetly to me, and let me know by the tone in your voice that you understand how badly I feel, and you’re going to help me feel better.  Try not to turn on a bright light; hopefully, you already left a small light on in my room, anyway.  Look at my face and make sure I don’t have mucous all over me; but if I do please clean it off either with a tissue or a warm washcloth.  Don’t ever use a cold wipe in the middle of the night.  How would you like a cold, wet washcloth on your face in the middle of the night?  You’ll never get me back to sleep that way.

And speaking about cold, wet things, if you need to change my diaper in the middle of the night, please don’t use a wipe.   They’re so cold, and I don’t feel so good anyway.  Again, a warm washcloth would feel so much better, and immediately dry me off with a little towel.  Please go as fast as you can in changing me, so I can get back to sleep faster.

After you change me, please hold me and rock me.  If I’m used to going to bed with music, please put the same music back on for me.
I need to be held right now and I know you must be tired and wanting to go back to sleep.  But I promise it won’t take long -- maybe 10-15 minutes.  I’ll be in an upright position so my nose will clear up and I’ll be able to breathe better (certainly long enough to fall back to sleep); and being held and cuddled by you will make me feel loved and happy and secure.  Don’t you feel better when you try to go to sleep feeling happy?  If, on the other hand, you just put me back in the crib, I’ll begin to cry because I truly need to be held, and then my nose will run more; my head will start hurting; I’ll get even more awake; and then no one will get any sleep.  And if you yell or talk harshly to me, it will only make matters worse.   It will make me feel you don’t love me and that will make me very sad.

Remember, you are my everything --I need you for everything--I adore you--I can’t bear the thought of you not being there or not loving me.  I know you need your sleep, and I would not bother you if I could take care of myself.   Please remember that I will be there for you when you are no longer needed by the people you work for.  I will be there when you get old or when you get sick.  Please be here - now - for me.

                         I NEED YOU SO MUCH TO MAKE ME FEEL LOVED.

©1997 Lisel Fahl Perselay. Reproduction or transmission of any form or by any means is prohibited without the written consent of the author.

Please send e-mail to: lisel@westfieldnj.com to be notified by e-mail when the next article in the series appears here. Comments and suggestions are appreciated.

Lisel Fahl Perselay, Biographical Sketch

As a new mother, Lisel Perselay attended various parent education courses offered by Overlook Hospital's Parentcraft Division, in Summit, NJ, as well as their Mother's Exchange Program, which she highly recommends.  When these articles were published she was a "working mom", with AT&T Corporation.  She was also a member of The Mother's Center of Central New Jersey  and  the Westfield Day Care Center Auxiliary. Lisel has a Masters in Business Administration. She and her husband and their two daughters have resided in the Westfield/Mountainside area for over 10 years.