And itís so awfully frightening when you go to the car and leave, whether itís for work, or to the grocery store or even to just back the car out of the garage. I truly believe you are never coming back, no matter how much you tell me where you are going and how soon youíll be coming back. Please donít let me watch you leave! I need you to kiss me and tell me youíll be right back, but have someone distract me. I may start crying but if my babysitter, my grandmother, my aunt, if just someone starts playing with me or shows me something quickly to take my mind off of you, Iíll be ok. I need someone to make me laugh; I need to feel loved; I need to be happy.
Please donít scold me or have anyone else scold me when youíre leaving, because it just confuses me more. I think itís very natural for me to cry when I see you leave. After all, you are my Mommy and my Daddy and the only things in life that I think really matter. If you were not there, what would I do? I cannot understand that you will be back in one hour, or later today, or tonight. What is an hour, or a day, or tomorrow? I am much too young to understand that now.
But when you are home, please spend some extra time with me. Play on the floor with me. Come down to my level. Youíd be surprised at what you see and learn with me, when youíre down at my level.
Everything I feel about myself will come from you. My whole sense of who I am and how wonderful I am will come from you. For the first 3 years of my life, your behavior, your actions, whether they be kindhearted or cruel, attentive or apathetic, happy or sad, nice or mean, will dictate how I view my world. It will dictate how self-confident I am. It will dictate how independent I become. It will dictate my own sense of self-worth.
I need you to be kind and gentle. I need you to love me so much.
Because I love you more than anything in this whole wide world!
©1997 Lisel Fahl Perselay.
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Lisel Fahl Perselay, Biographical Sketch
As a new mother, Lisel Perselay attended various parent education courses offered by Overlook Hospital's Parentcraft Division, in Summit, NJ, as well as their Mother's Exchange Program, which she highly recommends. When these articles were published she was a "working mom", with AT&T Corporation. She was also a member of The Mother's Center of Central New Jersey and the Westfield Day Care Center Auxiliary. Lisel has a Masters in Business Administration. She and her husband and their two daughters have resided in the Westfield/Mountainside area for over 10 years.