IF I SHOULD...
Cry When You Leave The Room
By Lisel Fahl Perselay
About the Author
If I should cry when you leave the room, please don’t yell at me or close the door.  I’m only crying because I think you’re never coming back.  You are the most wonderful thing in my life, and I cannot understand that just because you are out of my sight, it doesn’t mean you are gone forever.  Even if you take a shower, you are hidden from my view, so I am scared--you are so vital to me.  Don’t you understand that when I run after you I need you to pick me up and hold me and tell me everything’s all right?  Please slow down, because when you walk your normal pace, it’s so much faster than my legs can carry me and even a few feet ahead seems like such a gigantic difference to me.

And it’s so awfully frightening when you go to the car and leave, whether it’s for work, or to the grocery store or even to just back the car out of the garage.  I truly believe you are never coming back, no matter how much you tell me where you are going and how soon you’ll be coming back.  Please don’t let me watch you leave!  I need you to kiss me and tell me you’ll be right back, but have someone distract me.  I may start crying but if my babysitter, my grandmother, my aunt, if just someone starts playing with me or shows me something quickly to take my mind off of you, I’ll be ok.  I need someone to make me laugh; I need to feel loved; I need to be happy.

Please don’t scold me or have anyone else scold me when you’re leaving, because it just confuses me more.  I think it’s very natural for me to cry when I see you leave.  After all, you are my Mommy and my Daddy and the only things in life that I think really matter.  If you were not there, what would I do?  I cannot understand that you will be back in one hour, or later today, or tonight.  What is an hour, or a day, or tomorrow?  I am much too young to understand that now.

But when you are home, please spend some extra time with me.  Play on the floor with me.  Come down to my level.  You’d be surprised at what you see and learn with me, when you’re down at my level.

Everything I feel about myself will come from you.  My whole sense of who I am and how wonderful I am will come from you.  For the first 3 years of my life, your behavior, your actions, whether they be kindhearted or cruel, attentive or apathetic, happy or sad, nice or mean, will dictate how I view my world.  It will dictate how self-confident I am.  It will dictate how independent I become.  It will dictate my own sense of self-worth.

                I need you to be kind and gentle. I need you to love me so much.

                Because I love you more than anything in this whole wide world!

The author wishes to sincerely thank and acknowledge the technical assistance of Mrs. Amy Gole, R.N., Director - Parentcraft; Overlook Hospital, 908-522-2946.

©1997 Lisel Fahl Perselay. Reproduction or transmission of any form or by any means is prohibited without the written consent of the author.
 
Please send e-mail to: lisel@westfieldnj.com to be notified by e-mail when the next article in the series appears here. Comments and suggestions are appreciated.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Lisel Fahl Perselay, Biographical Sketch

As a new mother, Lisel Perselay attended various parent education courses offered by Overlook Hospital's Parentcraft Division, in Summit, NJ, as well as their Mother's Exchange Program, which she highly recommends.  When these articles were published she was a "working mom", with AT&T Corporation.  She was also a member of The Mother's Center of Central New Jersey  and  the Westfield Day Care Center Auxiliary. Lisel has a Masters in Business Administration. She and her husband and their two daughters have resided in the Westfield/Mountainside area for over 10 years.

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